The Language We Use Matters

The way we talk about behaviour shapes how we respond to it.

Too often in behaviour support, we use language that frames the person as the problem rather than looking at their needs, autonomy, and communication.

“Non-compliant” → “Seeking autonomy”

“Attention-seeking” → “Seeking connection”
“Aggressive” → “Communicating distress”

“Refusing” → “Expressing a preference”

If we describe someone as non-compliant, our instinct is to push for compliance.

If we see someone as seeking autonomy, we start to ask why they feel the need to push back.

When we say “attention-seeking,” we frame connection as something negative.
But isn’t seeking connection one of the most human things we do?

Reframing Behaviour to Support Dignity

Instead of focusing on controlling behaviour, we need to focus on understanding it.

Validate the person’s experience. Instead of “They’re just acting out,” ask “What’s making them feel unheard or unsafe?”

Look at the environment, not just the person. Does the system allow for autonomy, choice, and dignity?

Use language that reflects the person’s strengths. A child who is "resistant to demands" may actually be great at self-advocacy.

Behaviour Is Communication—What Are We Hearing?

PBS should empower, not police.

The words we choose matter.